In conclusion, the last 3 pages of “The boys’ book of ill treating amplifiers”:
How privileged we are to have lived in an age where such wisdom and foresight prevailed in the arts.
Now where’s my fucking CDrs? Eh? Eh?
Lumme they’re back agane
3 more pages from the mouldy chiz that is “The Boys’ Book of Ill Treating Amplifiers”.
Did I mention that copies of this historical publication originally came free with the now legendary “200 Cancellations” 3-cassette monolith of modern sound? Did I mention that I could really do with a copy (of both written word and sound content) as well as a CDr of “39 golden grates”? Did I mention that remuneration would doubtless be forthcoming for anyone kind enough to help out with this one?
No I didn’t. That’s why I’m doing it now. Don’t just stand there.
If you, like me, are fascinated by the wonders of the Mellotron, then this is sure to interest you:
http://www.mysterycircuits.com/melloman/melloman.html
I only wish they’d thought of some more interesting tunes for the samples…
I don’t like the Velvet Underground.
I used to. I still like the idea of The Velvet Underground, what they tried to do, their motives, the lot. But John Cale was right: “the songs are hypes”. A few years ago I realised I didn’t want to hear them any more so I got rid of all related recordings. Except this one.
This is the purest recording by one of the loveliest people ever to grace the ‘orrid world of rock and pop with her presence. She’s a great and revolutionary musician.
Try this link for that which is not provided here:
No, of course I don’t own a copy.
2 tracks, both an unaccompanied distorted cheap guitar recorded on a mono cassette player, bash bash bash, chunka chunka, chord A to chord B, add the little finger, take it off and back again. Oh, and what might be a bit of mumbling in the background, although, unlike their Midlands contemporaries Swell Maps, Felt didn’t credit anyone with actually ‘mumbling’. And on and on it goes (especially the longer ‘A’ side); you try really hard to listen to it, to catch every nuance, but it defies that process utterly. It’s just there and you exist parallel to it. You can’t really relate to it. No verse chorus thing, no conventional structure, no bleedin’ letup. One texture, one approach, one sound. It’s not sinister or wistful or angry. There is no mood; it’s just someone playing a guitar. That’s all it is. That’s all you can say about it, really.
Apart from it’s as choice UK 70s DIY as it gets. Of course it was only the start and the legend lives on forever but even if they’d never recorded another note Felt’s infamy would surely be guaranteed by this release.
I think you should all go here
http://illudiumphosdex.livejournal.com/27831.html
and get yourselves a bad education.
Many moons ago some bloke made a list of one hundered records so I had to go & try & get them all.
I haven’t finished yet but this week another one came off the list. One of the best.
I couldn’t scan the sleeve what with my being a computer unfriendly eejit & all but in the spirit of DIY maaaaan I’ve done my own version of it for you below
Doubtless any of you already familiar with the record will appreciate the attention to detail.
Maintaining the DIY ethic, I accessed http://www.pinkdirt.tk (as should your baaaad selves) & located the written history of the combo. In Norwegian. Hence my recourse to the one and only
InterTran Web Site Translation Server™
which enabled me to turn this
Det er en kald vinterdag i året 1978. Stedet er Ringstabekk ungdomsskole i Bærum. I et klasserom sitter den nyfrelste pønkern Atle og grubler. Ikke på matte, engelsk, norsk eller andre uinteressante fag, men musikk. Bærum kommune skal snart ha sitt årlige arrangement, “Ungdomsskolenes show”, og lærerne har spurt om noen av elevene er interessert.
Atle har veldig lyst, men har verken band eller låter – langt mindre utpregete musikalske evner. Derimot stort pågangsmot og en viss mangel på selvkritikk. Han akter ikke å la slike mindre vansker stoppe seg. Han rekker opp hånden, lærern noterer seg navnet hans. Dermed er “Atle med band” behørig anmeldt til årets utgave av showet.
I første friminutt tar Atle tak i problemet med å stable bandet på beina.
I naboklassen går Jon Toset. Han kan spille gitar. Atle strener bort og spør. Vel, spør og spør. Han forteller Jon at han har meldt på bandet sitt til “Ungdomsskolenes show”, kunne Jon tenke seg å bli med?
Jon svarer ja, først etterpå spør han hvilke andre som er med. På Atles unnvikende og svevende svar skjønner han at de har et mannskapsproblem.
Hvor skal de få fatt i to til?
I klassen under seg, har de Leif Ovesen. Han ikke bare spiller trommer, men er nabo til og har vokst opp sammen med Atle. Ivrig som han er etter å spille i band, er han et lett bytte for Atles overtalelsesevner.
Nå har han i løpet av ett friminutt utvidet bandet fra en til tre, bassist gjenstår.
Hjemme går Atles yngre bror Bård og aner fred og ingen fare. Han går i sjette klasse og er ferdig med skoledagen litt før storebror. Hadde han visst hva nevnte storebror hadde i vente for ham, ville han nok ønsket seg lengre skoledag.
Storebror Atle kommer hjem fra skolen, og gjør i korte, men intense setninger det klart for lillebror hva som forventes av ham. Han skal spille bass, og en kuet lillebror godtar.
Nå er bandet komplett.
Øvelse gjør mester
Med et komplett band klar, gjenstår det egentlig bare ett problem: Bandet har aldri spilt sammen. Pytt, pytt, sier Atle og finner etter en rask sjekk av kalenderen ut at det er masse tid igjen.
Med vinterferie for døren og et foreldretomt hus til disposisjon, innkalles bandets medlemmer til intensiv øving.
Det bæres og rigges, og snart er stuen omgjort til øvingslokale. Bård har fått beskjed om å lage noen låter, hvilket han lydig gjorde.
I en hel uke ble det øvd, festet og øvd. Men låter ble det…
Den første konserten
Nå var øvingsfasen slutt. En ny, større utfordring sto for døren; den første konserten.
På Ringstabekk skole var det hver onsdag noe de kalte “Åpen kveld” – en kveld der skolens elever kunne danse, spille bowling m.m. eller bare prate.
En slik kveld hadde Atle booket bandets første konsert.
Kvelden opprant. Stinn brakke i skolens gymsal. Lydanlegg var ordnet, alt var klart.
Tre nervøse og en opprømt sto på scenen og skulle spille sine tre innøvde låter. Skolens rådgiver står for introduksjonen. Bang! De er i gang.
Det låter primitivt og rått. Men dønn ærlig.
Hvorvidt skolekameratene likte det de hørte, var underordnet det faktum at en drøm var gått i oppfyllelse. DE STO PÅ SCENEN!!
Låtene de spilte denne dagen var: Hey Sir, Hooker, Mr. Bresjnev. Alle skrevet av Bård Skift med tekst av Atle.
Andre konsert
Neste konsert var Sandvika Kino.
Nok en gang stinn brakke. “Ungdomsskolenes show” er en årlig foreteelse der alle ungdomsskolene i Bærum kan stille med sine innslag. Fra de samme skolene kommer det elever som sitter i salen for å se sine medelever stå på scenen og (forhåpentligvis) driite seg ut.
Pink Dirt kom litt ut i programmet. Til tålelig applaus fremfører de Mr. Bresjnev.
into this
It is a apathetic snow tyre in the year 1978. Place am Ringstabekk ungdomsskole in Bærum. In a classroom sit it nyfrelste pønkern Atle and pondering. No matter at matte , british , Norwegian or other commonplace subject, but music. Bærum commune do be about almost have her annual set-ups Ungdomsskolenes show, and teachers has asked about any of pupils am interested. Atle has awfully delight but has ache bandage or sound – let alone distinct musikalske abilities. While large pågangsmot and one lack of selvkritikk. He respects no matter to allow such less arduous arrest her. He columns up the hand teachers debit her appellation his. With that am ” Atle along with bandage ” due notified at the year’s edition at showet. In first friminutt grasping Atle grip in difficulty along with to the stack the band at the legs. In naboklassen goes Jon Toset. He able act gitar. Atle beaches away and ask questions. Well ask questions and ask questions. He narrator Jon that he has joined at the band her at Ungdomsskolenes show be able Jon suppose to be along with? Jon answering certainly , first afterwards ask questions he to which other as am along with. At Atle avoid and vague answer am comprehending he that they have a mannskapsproblem. How do be about they get hold of dates back to at? In bunch under her, have the Leif Ovesen. He not only that acts drum , but am neighbour at and has grown up along with Atle. Agog as he in the manner of to act in bandage, am he a easily booty for Atle overtalelsesevner. Now has he during a friminutt augmented the band from a at three bassist remain. At home goes Atle younger brother Bård and ancestors peace and neither fare. He goes in sixth bunch and is finished along with skoledagen a bit a prior storebror. Owned he certainly what mentioned storebror owned in anticipate for him, savage he enough desire her anymore school. Storebror Atle comes home at school, and do in brief , but intense sentences facts clearly for lillebror whatever is expected at him. He do be about act bass , and a kuet lillebror accepting. Now am the band complete. Along with a complete bandage apparent , remain facts actual only a problem : The band has never played comparison. Easy come easy go say Atle and finds after a active check at calendar edged that it is the a lot of interval afresh. Along with vinterferie for door and a foreldretomt cottage at disposal , call in the band members at intensify øving. Facts bear and rigges , and almost am the room was redoing at øvingslokale. Bård have got information about to brew a few sound , which he dutiful doing. In an clear week became facts øvd , stuck and øvd. But sound became facts. The first concert Now stayed øvingsfasen an end. Another bigger challenge sto for door; it first concert. At Ringstabekk school stayed facts apiece Wednesday any they was naming ” open eve – a eve there school pupils be able dance, act bowling m.m. or only enter into conversation with. A so eve owned Atle booked the band first concert. Eve opprant. Lousy hut in school gymsal. Lydanlegg stayed composed , all stayed clearly. Three apprehensive and a elated sto at scene and do be about act her three innøvde sound. School adviser stand for introduction. Bang! They are afoot. It sounds good primitive and decayed. But swell honest. Whether classmate liked facts they heard , stayed collateral facts fact that a dream stayed stepped in fulfilment. THEY STO AT Scene! Sound they acted this day stayed : Hey Sir Hooker Mr. Bresjnev. All typed at Bård Shift along with printing at Atle. Other concert Next concert stayed Sandvika Cinema. Once again lousy hut. Ungdomsskolenes show ” am a annual the occurrence there all ungdomsskolene in Bærum able calm along with her features. At they additions schools comes facts pupils as sit in salen to see her medelever stand at scene and hopefully driite her edged. Pink Dirt arrived a bit edged in the program. At abide applause presenting they Mr. Bresjnev.
Which just goes to show: do not fuck with the Norwegian language, or with Pink Dirt for that matter. Seriously though, folks, a monstrous record. Get a CDr from Atle via the website. It’s punk rock, Jim, but not as we know it.
